klartie:

"we’re having mcdonalds for dinner"

image

"i made cookies"

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"i did your laundry for you" 

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"we’re going out you’ll be home alone for a few hours" 

image

490,969 notes

31,824 plays

chongthenomad:

catskid100:

emberjams:

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO GOOD I GOT A DRAMATIC READING OF MY OWN TEXT POST GOSH

jESUS

5,458 notes

atroposxr:

we got hedgehogs out here gettin hitched tryna fuck

atroposxr:

we got hedgehogs out here gettin hitched tryna fuck

(Source: awkwardsonicphotos)

8,824 notes

The story behind the 4th of July

  • Britain: *makes taxes for colonies*
  • Colonists:
  • Colonists:
  • Colonists: I came out here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.

6,713 notes

queerchesters:

arterialspurt:

queerchesters:

fun date idea: Go down on me while I shop online with ur credit card

I don’t think someone could focus on the internet while I was going down on them.

you over estimate your skill and underestimate the joy of shopping

170,079 notes

snowmercury:

hauntedpamplemousse:

orcasoup:

those moments when straight people assume you’re one of them and you feel like a gay secret agent

lesbionage

bi spy 

it’s an ace case

77,486 notes

unirony:

if yr lookin for the sillybandz ds game this store has 60 copies of it

unirony:

if yr lookin for the sillybandz ds game this store has 60 copies of it

7,694 notes

the-elderscrolls:

Polish doctor that refused to perform abortion named a “hero”
Dr Bogdan Chazan was visited by an expecting mother (32 weeks into pregnancy), who already had 5 miscarriages before and was worried about her health. It turned out that the fetus had hydrocephalus, undeveloped brain and was missing many bones from its skull. The Doctor refused to perform an abortion and didn’t send the woman to another hospital which could do so (according to polish law, if a doctor doesn’t want to perform an abortion, he has to choose another hospital which will agree to do so). Chazan was named a “local hero” and “true warrior of Jesus in the name of life of the unborn” by many polish politicians and catholic activists. He used conscience clause as an excuse for his actions.
The woman gave birth to the child through a C-section. She and her husband spent 10 painful days watching their deformed child die a horrible death. When she finally decided to speak out, she said:
“During these 10 days, no priest, no pro life activist or even dr Chazan came to see the child, to ask if they can help. It was really hard to look at our child. We knew what was coming, but it was still very hard to cope with”
Congratulations, pro-lifers - another “life” saved, another “happy” child and “happy” family. 

the-elderscrolls:

Polish doctor that refused to perform abortion named a “hero”

Dr Bogdan Chazan was visited by an expecting mother (32 weeks into pregnancy), who already had 5 miscarriages before and was worried about her health. It turned out that the fetus had hydrocephalus, undeveloped brain and was missing many bones from its skull. The Doctor refused to perform an abortion and didn’t send the woman to another hospital which could do so (according to polish law, if a doctor doesn’t want to perform an abortion, he has to choose another hospital which will agree to do so). Chazan was named a “local hero” and “true warrior of Jesus in the name of life of the unborn” by many polish politicians and catholic activists. He used conscience clause as an excuse for his actions.

The woman gave birth to the child through a C-section. She and her husband spent 10 painful days watching their deformed child die a horrible death. When she finally decided to speak out, she said:

During these 10 days, no priest, no pro life activist or even dr Chazan came to see the child, to ask if they can help. It was really hard to look at our child. We knew what was coming, but it was still very hard to cope with

Congratulations, pro-lifers - another “life” saved, another “happy” child and “happy” family. 

53,021 notes

snorlaxatives:

people who dress their babies in fashionable little outfits scare me…. if i was a baby i would want to be in a cozy little onesie not some shit like this

image 

209 notes

retiredjesus:

*fucks something serious up*

me: shit my bad

(Source: retiredjesus)

83,664 notes

18bit:

shut up mom this is who i really am!!
just drive me to hot topic

18bit:

shut up mom this is who i really am!!

just drive me to hot topic

(Source: 2boys1cup)

54,221 notes

Dont ruin a good today by thinking about a bad yesterday. Let it go.

44,439 notes

2 Types of Smutty Fanfict

shippingqueen:

  1. 32 chapter fanfict with actual plot before any frick frack happens
  2. one-shot where the characters are at some public place and then all of a sudden someone’s dick is in someone’s ass

there is no inbetween

22,088 notes